There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
