Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
