using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I got inside last night via doggy door
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
