So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
