I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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