I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
