Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
