woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
