No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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