Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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