i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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