I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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