Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
