Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
