Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
