We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
