i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
