Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize