Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
