Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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