Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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