That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
