Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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