I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
