he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
