College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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