Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
