I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
