I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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