she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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