dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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