i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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