I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
