Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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