I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
