and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Let's get the cat blown out
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
