what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
