dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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