I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
