If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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