Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wanna go halves on a baby?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
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