bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize