I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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