that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
