Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
