highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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