therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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