Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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