Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
