worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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