1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
