Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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