If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
