A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
