nut hugger
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
