It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
