You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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